The Heart of a 3yr Old

Having a 3yr old is a blast. I love the way my little one will tell me what she is thinking or how she feels about something. Of course, there is no filter on her so sometimes you get more than you asked for but I still love it. 

This morning I was talking with Z about today being Thanksgiving. We talked about what it means to be thankful for something and then talked about different things she was thankful for. From there we talked about what we were going to do, what food we were going to cook, whose house we were going to, and who the other people were that would be there. Our talk went much as I expected it would with the usual answers and comments from her. 

I headed off to the kitchen to begin the preparations for my part of the meal. I smiled as I heard her walk down to her kitchen and begin to play in there. I like hearing her playful sounds and it makes me happy to see her use her imagination. After a few minutes, I peeked around the corner to check on her. This is what I found.

It only took a minute for me to see what see had done. She set out a table cloth and then made a picnic for her family. There was a plate for Mommy with salad and a cupcake, a plate for herself with cheese and a cookie, and a plate for Daddy with the largest sandwich possible. I told her I liked the picnic she made and asked her what she was doing. Her reply was that she was feeding Daddy because she is just so thankful for him. She told me she knows that he is on his big long trip but she is still just so thankful for him and loves him.

I love my precious girl and her great big heart!

Life During Deployment-Today I Cried

So, today I cried.  

Zoe has made no secret of the fact that she misses her Daddy.  She tells our neighbors every time we walk to the mailbox. She tells the cashier at the store no matter which store it is. On Tuesday, she told her gymnastics coach, only to remind her again on Wednesday when we saw her that she, "Really misses her Daddy." I've completely lost count of how many times my precious daughter has looked up at me with those great big eyes and said, "I just miss my Daddy."

I love that Z can express herself as well as she does and I'm glad that she tells me when she is missing him. It gives us the chance to color pictures to send him, to pray for him, and to look through the flip book of pictures of her and her daddy together. It encourages me to keep him a present part of our home and to talk about what he might be doing that day. It also gives me the chance to snuggle my girl just a little bit more and to pass on the "I love you"'s that she desperately needs to hear. 

Today though, was different. Today Zoe got a video message from her Daddy. It was really to both of us, but for my Zoe girl, all she cared was that it was Daddy. Not once today did I hear the words, "I just miss my Daddy." Instead I heard, "Zoe wants to watch Daddy one more time." Followed quickly by "Just one more time, Mommy. Please, one more time." 

As I watched her run back to the computer time after time today my heart just filled up. I could see the beauty in her innocent love for her Daddy. I could see the hope in her eyes that her Daddy's face would show up once again. I could see the passion she felt over this simple connection to her Daddy. It captured my heart over and over.

So tonight as I go to bed, my prayer once again is simply this:
Protect us Lord as we're apart. Be our strength and our shield.
Teach us to grow as we press on. Strengthen our love, increase our heart.

Z showing "Pretend Daddy" the video

Waving "Hi" to Daddy

Sitting on the table to watch her video

Watching her Daddy video yet again...

Hugging "Pretend Daddy" while she watches.

Watching Daddy one last time before bed.

The "Terrible Twos"

The second year of life is known by many as the "Terrible Twos."  I will admit that going into this year with Z I was a little apprehensive as to just what lay ahead.  Now that we are at the end I am excited about everything I learned and so proud of my little girl.  We had some ups and downs for sure but I'd like to share a few of my thoughts on parenting with a 2yr old.

Communicating Makes all the Difference.  I can't tell you how many times over the last year I have told my daughter to "Use your words."  The tricky part was that I also had to learn to use my words.  I stopped simply saying "Use your words," and started asking,  "Do you feel mad, or tired."  I would ask, "Is this puzzle too hard for you?" or "What can Mommy do to help?"   Sometimes you need to put the words out there for them.  Teach them to say what they are feeling or why they are feeling it.  The more they practice the easier it will be for them do it on their own. 

I remember one morning this spring when Z was being really antsy.  I was feeling less than patient because we needed to get going and she was bouncing off the walls.  I sat her in my lap and asked her what her deal was.  She looked back at me and said "Zoe excited!"  I laughed out loud.  I wasn't expecting an answer and didn't even know she knew what excited meant.  It was so cute.

Conquer the Tantrums. Temper Tantrums are one of the biggest challenges with a 2 yr old. They are not completely avoidable but there are things you can do to minimize the risk of one breaking out.  Be aware that their threshold is lower when hungry or tired.  Take a step back and try to understand your child's perspective.  As a 2 yr old they are learning that the world doesn't revolve around them and that other people have needs and feelings too.  It's a lot to comprehend for your little one. Temper tantrums are their way of voicing the frustration they are feeling.  So, have a game plan and know how you want to handle the tantrums when they do pop up. Here's a link for a few of my thoughts on Toddler Temper Tantrums.

Encourage Independence. Your 2 yr old is changing from being a baby to a little person with ideas and opinions of their own.  Let them.  Give them specific responsibilities.  A 2 yr old can do lots of things around the house and allowing them to help out builds their confidence. Zoe has been responsible for picking up her toys and putting her clothes in the dirty clothes basket for quite some time now.  This year she has also learned to help set the table and take her own plate to the sink when finished eating.
I have also learned to let her make age appropriate decisions.  The key to this is giving specific choices not asking open ended questions.  "Do you want to color or play with play dough?" or "Do you want apple slices or grapes." Not "What do you want to do?" or "What do you want for snack?" Giving your toddler the power to make specific choices each day allows them to feel like they have some control while still maintaining your routine and accomplishing the things that need doing.    

Other Keys to Remember.

*Teach your little one how deal with their emotions. They are becoming very aware of themselves so acknowledge what they are feeling and help them to process it.

*Handle negative behavior as it happens. 

*Patience is of utmost importance.  If you want them to respond calmly you have to keep your cool too.
*Be aware of how much sleep your little one is getting. Most 2 yr olds need an average of 13 hours (10 to 12hrs for nighttime and 1-3hrs for nap).
*Challenge their creativity.  At this point a lot of their learning happens through play so let them finger paint, play with shaving cream, and build forts under the table.  Building their creativity now will open doors and help them learn to problem solve as they get older.

I have had a blast with my little 2 yr old this last year. It wasn't all sugar and roses. We had one day that it took 45 minutes and tears from both of us to get Zoe in the car seat and buckled. It was rough. But we also had days that we laughed so hard we couldn't catch our breath.  I love to watch Zoe as she learns new things and I am so blessed to be able to invest in her life.  She is worth the all tears, the laughter, and the smiles.  As the 2's are slipping behind us I am so excited to see the 3's.

Saying Good-Bye

Good-Bye

We say these little words all the time and for the most part it's no big deal.  As moms, one of the first skills we teach our children is to wave "bye-bye."  It's fun and so cute to see our little ones wiggling their little fingers and waving their chubby little hands.

I'm glad that as a child I never had to know just how hard saying good-bye can be.  It breaks my heart that my daughter is not so lucky.  You see, she is a part of a military family.  Last week we had to say good-bye to our best friends.  

Here is our story.

Jake and I were newly married and navigating the joys of flight school.  I say joys now but at the time it was more of a headache.  The never knowing your schedule for the next day until the night before, the endless hours of studying, and the stinky laundry that just kept piling up.  That was our life.  In the midst of this Jake came home from work and told me we'd been invited to a BBQ. Yeah! I was excited to have something normal to do that didn't involve helping Jake study EP's.  I made a pan of brownies (the gooey, delicious kind with Hershey syrup and frosting on top), and away we went.

I laughed more that night as I watched a 2yr old Jack smear brownie from his head to his toes than I had in a week.  The crazy part was that his mom, Em, was so chill about it. That was the beginning of a great friendship, yet I knew then I would never be that cool.  

Back in those days, we lived within walking distance from each other so we started spending more time together.  It was great.  I played cars with Jack and got to hold Levi who was such a cute little guy.  Em's house was of course cleaner and better decorated than mine and I knew once again I would never be that cool.

Fast forward a little bit and we're all stationed out here in sunny California.  Along come Zoe and Arlo (so glad you didn't name him Benny).  In the beginning Z would spend more time staring at the boys than actually playing with them but with-in a couple months of us moving to the same town she began to refer to the boys as hers.  When we would go to the playground she would ask if "her boys" were coming, or when we'd go swimming Z had to make sure "her boys" were going to be there.  

Zoe started following the boys around and trying her hardest to keep up with them.  I loved watching the changes that were taking place in my little girl.  Z went from being afraid of almost everything to being the first one to climb down in the riverbed and the last one to want to leave.  At the same time I was learning from Em that it's okay when clothes get dirty and shoes come off so toes can squish in the mud.  I was amazed that Em could leave the park with 3 boys in tow and not a spec of mud on her and I just had little Zoe and both of us a muddy mess.  Once again, I just wasn't that cool.

But, as with normal life in the military it's time for a move. So we had our friends over for one more BBQ before they headed back east.  As Zoe gave each one of "her boys" a giant hug and kiss good-bye my heart began to break a little.  Em has encouraged me and helped me to be a better mom. I long for her secret to staying cool and not losing my temper, I envy her clean house with everything always in its place, and I will never be as put together as she is.  I will however be a better mom each day and treasure our friendship always.

No matter who it is you may be saying good-bye to, know in your heart that it doesn't have to be forever.  Let their memories live in you and choose to make a difference for someone else in the same way they made a difference for you.

In our case Good-bye is not forever.  It is simply, see you later!

Military Life

We woke too early, the sun had not yet risen.

The alarm told us harshly what we already knew.

It was time to go.

It was time to say Good-bye.

I hug my Marine tightly.

He hugs our little girl just one more time. 

She says, "Daddy go trip."

Then asks, "Daddy be home soon?"

We survive the first day but already miss his presence.

As soon as Daddy leaves something has to break.

The garage door quits working and the weed eater quickly follows suit.

The jogging stroller tire goes flat and garbage disposal is making a funny sound.

A few more days pass and we settle into a routine.

My Zoe girl is back to singing.

Her nonstop chatter is my favorite sound.

We play patty cake, and color in books. We smile and eat ice cream.

The routine grows normal but the house is empty.

Zoe says she misses Daddy and hugs her teddy tight.

She crawls into my lap to snuggle.

I wrap her in my arms and kiss her little head.

We venture out on each new day, we have to live our life.

Zoe sees another Marine and looks at me with great big eyes.

Hang in there little one, he's not your Daddy.

The Marine smiles and gives her high five.

We make a calender and cross off days.

Zoe counts them as they pass.

She gets her phone and plays pretend.

She tells Daddy everything he is missing.

I miss him too my Zoe Bug.

I wish he were home safe each night.

Daddy misses us just as much.

He wants to see you grow.

Others will see us and ask how we're doing.

The answer is always, "We're fine."

Military families are built from the heart.

Ours is no exception.

Some days I'm stronger than others.

There are lots of days we play and we laugh.

There are some days it hurts so much I cry.

I know it's alright.

For many, military is just a word.

For me it is my life.

I am proud of my Marine, he choose to serve our country.

Our path may not be easy but it is what we know.

The day will come when he comes home.

My arms will fly wide open.

He'll pick up our little girl and spin her around.

Tears will slip down my cheek.

Until that day comes, my prayer is simply this.

Protect us Lord, as we're apart. Be our strength and our shield.

Teach us to grow as we press on. 

Strengthen our love, increase our heart.

Lent

I am not catholic nor do I know any of the history or tradition associated with Lent.  You are probably asking yourself why indeed I am writing about such a subject.  It is simply this.  I want to share my experience with you. 

The Sunday before Ash Wednesday our church encouraged us to give up something for Lent.  Jake and I came home and talked about whether or not we wanted to participate in this church wide challenge and if so what in the world were we going to give up.  We quickly ruled out food options. Lots of people give up sweets or soda but we decided that if we were going to do this challenge we wanted to give up something that we could look back on at the end of 40 days and say yes that made a difference in my life.  We wanted to do something that wasn't necessarily easy for us to give up but at the same time we knew that if we made it too complicated or demanding we wouldn't stick to it.

What we came up with was this.  We gave up wasting time via the Internet. We still checked email and facebook.  I still looked up a recipe here and there but we did not linger on the Internet cruising the latest news headlines or following those ever so tempting pinterest links.  I then began to use the down time I had, primarily during Z's nap but also after her bed time, to read my Bible.  In less than a week I had finished Genesis and Exodus and was well into Leviticus.  The reality check was setting in hard about just how much time I spend on the Internet.  I had made the decision a long time ago not to be on the Internet while Z was awake but I hadn't realized how much of her sleep time I was wasting. 

I don't think the Internet is a bad thing and I will continue to use it often but the reality check that I walked away with was amazing.  I will be more intentional with my time and I will not let it waste away.  Participating in Lent this year didn't make me a better person but walking away from it knowing I am making a change in my life for the better of myself, my family, and my friends is more than worth it.

Good Moms Say No

Zoe and I started off our shopping trip with the shoe store.  Z needed some new sandals for summer and I wanted some as well.  We each picked out a pair and headed on our way.  Before we even got to the car Zoe was asking to put hers on.  I was a little hesitant to let her because they were the flip flop type with the little thing between the toes.  Last summer I couldn't get her to wear that type at all and I knew that her tender little feet would be sore from walking in them until she got used to them.  I had several things I wanted to get done in the next few hours and a whiny toddler was not going to help anything.  I gave it some thought and let her put on the new shoes.

Now you're asking yourself why I titled this "Good Moms Say No" and then told you a story about saying yes to my 2yr old.  Here's the rest of the story. 

Zoe and I spent the next 2 hours walking around different stores getting in and out of the car and having a great time.  Our next stop was the library. I decided to spend a little more time here than I originally planned so Zoe and I gathered a stack of books, snuggled into one of the couches, kicked off our shoes, and started reading.  Forty minutes later we emerged with new books to take home and feet that were ready to go again.  We pressed on for another hour and accomplished everything on the list. As we walked out to the car Zoe asked if we could go to one more store.  I was more than a little surprised because by this point I could tell that her flip flops were starting to bother her.  Out of curiosity I asked what store she wanted to go to and she said, "bookstore" (Barnes & Noble).  It was in the same parking lot as the last place we were so we loaded our purchases into the car, I picked up my child, and we headed into the bookstore.  Zoe asked to walk almost as soon as I picked her up.  I kissed her little head and said, "No Sweetheart." Zoe picked out a new Curious George book and it was finally time to head home.

Is telling my child "no" when she wants to walk by herself a big deal?  It depends on the day.  There were lots of reasons for me telling her no. The two biggest ones being, I knew her feet were starting to hurt and it would be A LOT faster for me to carry her.  Knowing when to tell your children no about something can be a bit tricky at times.  There are no hard and fast rules but here are a few of my thoughts on it.

#1. Are you telling your child "No" for them or for you?
This is a question I ask myself often.  It helps me to keep things in perspective and it makes me be a better mom.

#2. Be consistent.
Jake and I have both said that this is the hardest aspect of being a parent.  I know there are times that you want to let things slide but there's just no other way to get around it.  If you want to be an effective parent you have to be consistent.

#3.  Be selective.
I've heard it said many times, you have to choose your battles.  Let me say it this way. Only say "No" to things that you are willing to follow through on.  Your toddler will pick up on your empty threats and it will undermine your authority.

#4. Say "No" in different ways.
Hearing "no" often elicits a knee jerk reaction from adults and the same is true of children.   When Zoe asks to go to the park I can say "no." Or, I can say, "We will go to the park tomorrow."  Another way we say "no" is simply restating rules that Zoe already knows.  For example, When Z asks for candy I remind her that we don't eat candy right before dinner.

#5 When you do say "No."
Get on their level. 
Make eye contact.
Be clear and authoritative.
Personalize it, "No, Zoe."
Use your body language as well as your words.

Saying "no" to those sweet little eyes looking up at you is really hard sometimes, especially when they say "please" in that precious little voice.   At the end of the day though you are the parent and it is your job. There are going to be days that I don't say no when I should and I am going to make mistakes.  The good news is the next day is a fresh start.  I love my daughter and for that reason alone I will tell her "No."

St. Patrick's Day Fun with a Toddler

Life with a toddler is just too fun to not make the most of a holiday.  St. Patrick's Day is no exception.  I started out the month looking for ideas off Pinterest or wherever else I could find them.  Of course, I added my own twist because very few things work as well in real life as they do on Pinterest so here are a few of my favorites.

1. Follow the rainbow to find the pot of gold- This has been an on going thing each day.  I got a couple spools of rainbow ribbon and started it in Zoe's room then trailed it throughout the house for Z to find when she wakes up.  Her "pot of gold" was just some black foam we cut out and glued plastic gold coins to until this morning when I switched it out for a little pot of chocolate coins.

Zoe and Levi following
the rainbow

Pot of gold safely hidden

        

Z climbing a chair to get the gold

Rainbow trail over the basket of balls

The chocolate gold!

 

2. Shamrock painting-I convinced a friend to do this one with me because it's always more fun to make a mess at someone else's house. Hehehe. My friend supplied the washable paint and I brought some green peppers and it was game on.  We cut the peppers in half and then let the kids dip them in paint and onto some paper.  We ended up with a lovely shamrock sidewalk and four painted kiddos but they had a blast.

 

Z painting her leg 'cause
that's what kids do.

Shamrocks

 





The boys

Painting fun



The sidewalk after we were done
 

 3. Shamrock garland-This was almost too easy but I like that it lets Zoe work on so many skills in one project. All it took was a pack of shamrock shapes I picked up at the dollar store and some ribbon.  We used a heart shaped hole punch because it was the easiest to find in my way overstuffed craft cupboards and then Z got to thread the ribbon through and tie the knots.

 

Our finished product



Zoe and Mommy



4. Shamrock sun catchers-I did this first for a Valentine's Day craft at a play date but loved it so much we did it again.  First we cut out a large shamrock outline, then we press it into some clear contact paper, lastly we stick lots of little tissue paper squares to it.  So fun!

 

 

 5. Handprint shamrock-I enjoy doing handprint crafts because it's fun to watch and see how much they grow.  This one was really easy. I painted Z's hand green then we pressed it onto some white paper.  Convincing her to let me paint her hand did take a little doing but I like how the finished project turned out.

 

 

 

6. Green cookies-No St. Patrick's Day would be complete without green food of some kind so at our house it's cookies.  We took a basic sugar cookie and simply added green food coloring.  Zoe might have eaten more cookie dough than dinner today but oh well.  We had a great time working together in the kitchen and that was what was important today.

 

Helping Mommy stir

Taste testing :)



It's days like today when I can sit and look at how much fun it is to be a mom and I know without a doubt that I have the greatest job in the world.  It has been a busy month but spending time with my daughter is priceless.

The Baby I Didn't Know I Wanted

The new year rolled in and with it came all the usual chaos.  Jake was preparing for a busy month at work, Zoe and I were juggling play dates, story time, gymnastics, and of course all the everyday chores that need doing.  We took a road trip to visit some family, and had a water leak in the bathroom that required some serious attention from the plumber. Then, of course there were plans for Valentine's Day and a visit from Granny and Poppy. 
It was in the mist of all this that I began not feeling well.  I was worn out and constantly queasy.  Like most moms, I was powering through it because there just isn't time to be sick.  Then I realized what was going on.  I knew I was pregnant!  I didn't say anything to Jake just yet.  I needed to see the little plus sign appear on the pregnancy test before I could really believe it myself. 
The next day I loaded up Z Bug and we made a trip to the store.  I knew the directions say wait until morning to take the test but I wasn't really feeling the wait.  Sure enough, bright pink plus sign. Wow!  I struggled with shock and feeling very overwhelmed all day long.  That evening as I told Jake about the little life growing inside me we were both speechless.  This wasn't something that we had planned or expected but just knowing the miracle that life is there is excitement and joy that goes with it.  I was on an emotional roller coaster for most of the week following.  I hadn't planned for Zoe to have a little sister but now that a new baby was on the way my heart was full of love for this precious life. 

Then our baby died.

I cried.

For a couple days my mind spun out of control.  Why had God given us this miracle baby only to take her from us?  Did I do something to cause this?  Is this some sort of message from God to get my attention?  Is there something wrong with me?

This wasn't our first miscarriage. It is number three. 

Again, as my doctor began running test to determine what exactly was going on, my mind began to spin.  Will Jake and I ever be able to have another baby? How many times do I have to say goodbye to the little life inside me?  Why is this happening?

Then I felt peace.

I knew in my head I didn't want to live out the "what ifs." I choose not to let the unanswered questions determine the course of my days, my weeks, my life.  I choose to move forward and to grow stronger. I choose to trust.  I choose to love.  I choose to love my husband. I choose to love my sweet Zoe.  I choose to love my babies that I have never held in my arms but will forever hold in my heart.

Taking a Sabbath When You're a Mom

One of the common things that I run into with myself and other moms is that we are always just so busy.  We want to do everything we can for our families but in doing that we are moving away from the long ago tradition of taking a Sabbath day.  A day to turn off the hectic buzz of life itself and to tune into what really matters. 

I have no magic answers and there are no secrets that can make this happen overnight but let's talk through this idea of taking a Sabbath day.

#1. Decide that it's important to you. 

There are two reasons why it is important to me to have a day of rest.  One is that God tells us to.  Exodus 34:21 Six days you shall labor, but on the seventh day you shall rest; even during the plowing season and harvest you must rest. 
The second reason that a day of rest is important for me, is the health benefits that go along with it.

The hard part of this point is not debating that God tells us to or that it would be good for us. The hard part is that you have to decide that it's important enough that you're willing to make it a priority.  The idea of a day off is amazing but the reality of making that happen might be overwhelming if you don't have a plan. 

#2 Have a plan and follow through.

If you simply say you're going to rest on Saturday this week, but don't come up with a plan to make that happen, it never will.  As a wife and mom you know that there are things you do each week.  Laundry, house work, grocery shopping, cooking meals, and much more.  Plan your week in a way that you know when everything will get done and then do it.

*Perhaps the most critical part in having a day of rest is what happens on the other six days.

Pray for increased productivity on the other six days and trust God to bless your efforts.  Then on your day of rest choose not to worry about all the things you should be doing.

#3 The reality of a day of rest.
 
Be flexible. You are still wife and mom and things seldom go exactly as planned.

A day of rest doesn't mean a day being lazy. Do something you love. Gardening, a day at the beach, read a book, or go on a family outing.

Recognize that a Sabbath for you might not be an entire day maybe only an afternoon.

Don't create rules for what you can or can't do on your day off.

Use it as a time to disconnect from your work and technology and a time to connect with family and friends.

Separating one day from the frenzied blur of the other six allows us to slow time and savor it's goodness. To snuggle our little ones just a little more, to hug our spouses a little longer, and to open our hearts to new growth and deeper love.

Toddler Valentine's Day Crafts

Zoe loves doing art projects these days so here are a few of the ones we did for Valentine's Day.

Lady Bug-Zoe's favorite part of this was of course the silver glitter glue we used to put the spots on our lady bug. It probably could have used legs of some kind. Maybe next year.

Foot Prints-Zoe is always a little timid about getting paint on her but she warmed up to the idea and we ended up with some great heart prints.

 

Caterpillars-We cut thin strips of paper and made the heart chain that we used for the body.  After that we cut pipe cleaners for legs and antenna.

Yarn Heart-Zoe smeared some red glitter glue into a heart shape and then pressed the different length pieces of yarn into it.  This one took some time to dry, but totally worth it.

More Caterpillars-This was super easy.  Three big hearts, a smaller one for the face, pipe cleaners, and wiggly eyes.  Zoe did hers all by herself just copying Mommy as she went. She put her head on upside down but it looked cute so we left it.

Hand Print Heart-Again it took some convincing to get painted but once she got going she had a blast.

Feather Heart-I like doing 3 dimensional things so this one was one of my favorites.  We smeared glue all around in the heart then Zoe went to town putting the feathers on.

Love-We had pixie stix left over from Halloween still so we decided to use them for art.  We wrote the letters with glue then sprinkled the powder on. After it was completely dry we shook off the excess powder and you could see what we had written.

Heart stamps-We cut heart shapes out of some sponges from the dollar store and then used them as stamps.  This was probably Zoe's favorite project.

Fish-We started with a big circle for the body then added the hearts for the scales.  We finished it off with a fin, a mouth, and of course a wiggly eye.


Doing art projects with my little one is one of my favorite parts of the day.  We talk about colors and shapes and she gets to practice cutting and drawing but there is so much more that goes on.  We make a mess together, we exercise our creativity, we laugh, we talk to each other, and then we clean up our mess.  The toddler years may have many challenges in them but they also have lots of fun and laughter.

The Power of a Kiss

Zoe raced around the playground eagerly going from the slide to the swings and back to the slide again.  She climbed the ladder, braved the bridge, hung on for dear life to the monkey bars and did it all again.  Then it happened.  Zoe was swinging on her tummy on one of the swings and she scraped her hand on the rubber surface beneath her.  I could tell that it hurt but it wasn't bleeding and it didn't require medical attention.  I didn't rush to her side but rather watched to see how she would handle it.  Her little eyes welled up just a little then she kissed her hand. 

Why, you ask.  The answer is simple.  In the past when she has fallen down or gotten a boo boo I would lean down place a kiss on her owie and tell her, "All better."  I had taught my daughter that a kiss has the power to take away the pain. 

Zoe made the right choice.  She didn't let the pain come in the way of what she loved to do.  She used the most powerful thing she knew and then she kept right on going.  I am proud of my little girl. She is my inspiration. I will not let pain that comes my way hold me back from making the most of this adventure I like to call my life. 

My Little Mirror

My day did not go according to my plan.

It really frustrated me.

Then I stopped and looked at my daughter. 

Zoe was sitting on the couch mad at her sock for being twisted, mad at her cracker because the corner was broken, mad at the blanket because it was touching her, and whining about it all.  I knew then that I owed my daughter an apology.

 I sat down next to her and told her I was sorry.  I explained to her that when Mommy got mad at her blanket this morning because it ripped in the dryer and got yucky fuzzies on everything else Mommy was wrong to get mad.  I told her that when Mommy couldn't find her gym card it was wrong for Mommy to let that make her mad.  I told her that when we dropped the plate and it broke and got glass everywhere Mommy shouldn't have gotten mad about that either.  I told her that when we got to the grocery store and Mommy's card wasn't working Mommy let that make her mad but that was wrong too.  It was about this time Zoe looked up at me with her innocent little eyes and said, "Mommy's not mad anymore."  I hugged her and said, "No Sweetheart, I'm not." 

Zoe does a fantastic job of mirroring so much of what she sees in me.  It's more than just the words I say and the things I do.  She mirrors my emotions. When I allow the circumstances in any given day the run my emotions I am teaching my daughter to do the same. 

After Zoe and I had our little chat on the couch we ate some chocolate and talked about things that make us mad and how we can handle them better.  The rest of our day had just as many things that went completely wrong.  We spilled a brand new carton of milk, Zoe lost her purple rock, the garage door isn't working, Z got a fat lip, and I left my phone at the grocery store.   We did however handle them much better. 

Thank you Zoe for being a little mirror for Mommy to see areas where we can improve.  I love you!

Lessons Learned

Earlier this week Jake and I took Zoe Bug to Chuck E. Cheese.  She is not a fan of the giant mouse but loves all the button pushing, flashing lights, gold coins, and ticket collecting.  In fact when it was time to feed her tickets back into the machine to get a grand total she chose to keep some of her tickets to take home.  Silly girl.  Anyhow we spent $10 on tokens and let her play for over an hour.  She had a blast. 
When it was time to choose her prize there were several other children waiting to claim their prizes as well.  We talked with Zoe and pointed to a couple different choices she had with the amount of tickets she had collected.  She decided on one of the little pink and silver bracelets. More children were at the counter now claiming their prizes as well and still Zoe is waiting. She stands there looking longingly into the glass case of toys at the bracelet she has chosen.  About this time a manager steps behind the counter.  He pauses to talk with Zoe.  After just a minute he reaches behind him and pulls out a silver and pink crown along with the bracelet that Zoe has chosen, candy, and stickers.  He handed them all to my sweet little Zoe.
Zoe had nowhere near the points required to earn the prizes given to her but she learned an important lesson.  It is not always easy to be patient and use good manners but there are times that it will have a great reward.
I learned an important lesson too.  There is a lot of hard work that goes into teaching a 2yr old good manners but the outcome is more than worth the effort.

What We Say Matters

I have a quick story for you that will lead to my thought for the evening. 

For Christmas Zoe received a bath time tea set complete with bubble bath, fizzing cupcakes, and frosting that turns to soap.  Needless to say she loves it! Well done Auntie Anne.  Anyhow, earlier this week as I was giving Z her bath.  We're playing and having a grand time.  We have the plates floating on the water, the tea pot filled, and our little tea cups at the ready. Zoe pours me some tea and then she very plainly says to me, "Just pretend, don't actually drink the water."  It took me a minute and then I realized yes, my 2 year old just used the word "actually" in a sentence.  After another minute of thought I wasn't surprised at all because that was the exact phrase I had told her the night before. 

Now my thought for the evening: What we say matters.

It's in these moments that I realize just how important the things that we say to our children are. They are hungry for our attention. The communication that we have with them is precious.  When you are talking they are listening.  Trust me, I know there are times that you are sure your little ones are not hearing a single word you are saying but that's simply not the case.  They hear more than we think.  They hear the things we mumble to ourselves when we're frustrated and they hear the songs that we sing along to on the radio.  They hear the way we complain about things that don't go our way and they hear the stories that we read to them.  They hear the conversations we have with other adults and they hear the prayers we say when we tuck them in at night. 

This week was a good reminder for me to be very mindful of the words that come from my mouth.  Zoe is listening and I want her to hear me building others up.  To hear words of encouragement, and to hear positive statements about herself and the people in her life.  I am so proud of her and the way she is learning to express herself and tell me the things she is thinking.  Now, it is my job to be an example for her.   

Little Tricks Every Girl Can Use

1. Add sprite to the water in your vase of fresh cut flowers.  They will live longer and the water won't get stinky as fast.

2. Use plastic wrap in the same vase to give it a cool crushed ice look.

3. Always bake your brownies in a glass pan for 2 to 3 minutes less than what the box recommends, then cut them with a plastic knife.

4. Pour store bought punch or lemonade into a glass pitcher and add a squirt of lemon juice.  Everyone will think it's homemade.

5. If your recipe calls for room temperature or softened butter make sure your eggs are room temp as well.

6. When taking a passing dish to a large potluck the dollar store has great plastic serving dishes.  That way you don't have to worry about keeping track of yours or getting it back home.

7. Keep a small package of baby wipes in your glove box.  They work well for cleaning so much more than just babies.

8. Store drinking glasses right side up.  The rims will stay smooth and chip free much longer.

9. Switch up which brand of shampoo you use every couple of months.  Your hair will thank you.

10.  Let your washing machine get at least half full of soapy water before you put the clothes in. 

11. Always read the entire recipe before you start cooking.

12. Don't put meat straight from the fridge into the oven.  Let it sit out for 15 to 30 minutes to get rid of the chill. Same goes for the grill.

13. Then let it sit on the counter and rest again after it's cooked before you slice it.  (Against the grain of course)

14. Read the care label on clothes before you buy them and then follow the label.  If it says lay flat to dry it probably means it.

15. Know your oven.  Be aware that it may not be the exact temp is says it is and many ovens also have hot spots that get worse over time.

16. Put a thermometer in the fridge and another in the freezer.  Fridge should be 40 or below and freezer should be 0.

17. Splurge on a satin pillowcase.  It will help prevent wrinkles on your skin and also avoid hair breakage.

18. Put your pillows in the dryer with a couple of tennis balls.  You need to use a high heat cycle to kill the germs.

19. Put a couple of big marshmallows in your container of brown sugar to keep it soft.

20.  Use wax paper on your faucets to make them shine and remove water spots, and also on your metal closet rod to help your hangers side smoothly.

21. Use a dryer sheet to dust baseboards. 

22. Before you go to the beach fill a couple of milk jugs with water and place them in your trunk.  When it's time to go home you will have nice warm water to rinse sand off with.

23. Wash new jeans twice before getting them hemmed.  New jeans always shrink in length.

24. When it's time to thin down your closet the key is to ask yourself, "If I were shopping right now would I buy this?"  If the answer is no, it's time to get rid of it.

25. Don't wash your swimsuit in the washing machine.  Rinse it very well in the sink after each wear.  Do not twist it to wring it out.  At the end of summer wash it in the washing machine on a gentle cycle with a mild soap. Your suit will last for years.