Monday, July 28, 2014

Saying Good-Bye

Good-Bye

We say these little words all the time and for the most part it's no big deal.  As moms, one of the first skills we teach our children is to wave "bye-bye."  It's fun and so cute to see our little ones wiggling their little fingers and waving their chubby little hands.

I'm glad that as a child I never had to know just how hard saying good-bye can be.  It breaks my heart that my daughter is not so lucky.  You see, she is a part of a military family.  Last week we had to say good-bye to our best friends.  

Here is our story.

Jake and I were newly married and navigating the joys of flight school.  I say joys now but at the time it was more of a headache.  The never knowing your schedule for the next day until the night before, the endless hours of studying, and the stinky laundry that just kept piling up.  That was our life.  In the midst of this Jake came home from work and told me we'd been invited to a BBQ. Yeah! I was excited to have something normal to do that didn't involve helping Jake study EP's.  I made a pan of brownies (the gooey, delicious kind with Hershey syrup and frosting on top), and away we went.
I laughed more that night as I watched a 2yr old Jack smear brownie from his head to his toes than I had in a week.  The crazy part was that his mom, Em, was so chill about it. That was the beginning of a great friendship, yet I knew then I would never be that cool.  
Back in those days, we lived within walking distance from each other so we started spending more time together.  It was great.  I played cars with Jack and got to hold Levi who was such a cute little guy.  Em's house was of course cleaner and better decorated than mine and I knew once again I would never be that cool.
Fast forward a little bit and we're all stationed out here in sunny California.  Along come Zoe and Arlo (so glad you didn't name him Benny).  In the beginning Z would spend more time staring at the boys than actually playing with them but with-in a couple months of us moving to the same town she began to refer to the boys as hers.  When we would go to the playground she would ask if "her boys" were coming, or when we'd go swimming Z had to make sure "her boys" were going to be there.  
Zoe started following the boys around and trying her hardest to keep up with them.  I loved watching the changes that were taking place in my little girl.  Z went from being afraid of almost everything to being the first one to climb down in the riverbed and the last one to want to leave.  At the same time I was learning from Em that it's okay when clothes get dirty and shoes come off so toes can squish in the mud.  I was amazed that Em could leave the park with 3 boys in tow and not a spec of mud on her and I just had little Zoe and both of us a muddy mess.  Once again, I just wasn't that cool.
But, as with normal life in the military it's time for a move. So we had our friends over for one more BBQ before they headed back east.  As Zoe gave each one of "her boys" a giant hug and kiss good-bye my heart began to break a little.  Em has encouraged me and helped me to be a better mom. I long for her secret to staying cool and not losing my temper, I envy her clean house with everything always in its place, and I will never be as put together as she is.  I will however be a better mom each day and treasure our friendship always.
No matter who it is you may be saying good-bye to, know in your heart that it doesn't have to be forever.  Let their memories live in you and choose to make a difference for someone else in the same way they made a difference for you.

In our case Good-bye is not forever.  It is simply, see you later!