The Whole New Year's Resolution Thing

Now that Christmas has come and gone we have just a few days until New Year's.  With that many people have begun to think about New Year's resolutions and whether or not they are going to make one.  I will admit that I typically enjoy making one.  There have been years that the resolution I made was about things I wanted to improve and there have been years that my resolution has been more about new experiences and enjoying new things.

One of my favorite resolutions that I ever made was also one of the hardest ones for me to keep. I want to share a little of that story with you in a hope that as you think about your resolution this year you won't shy away from picking something that you don't necessarily want to do but that in the end will have great rewards.

This was a few years ago, I was at a point where I didn't have much of a relationship at all with my parents.  In the years prior there had been many hurtful things said on both sides and I simply chose not to include them in my day to day life anymore.  In the previous year I had probably only talked to my parents 2 maybe 3 times. They were living in Michigan while I enjoyed sunny Florida.  This was also before my parents discovered the wonderful world of facebook so they really had no idea what was going on in my life nor did I with them. 

So, New Year's rolls around and I know it's time for a change.  My older brother played a big part in encouraging me to step up and do something to reach out to my parents.  My resolution was this.  I would have contact with my parents twice a month.  You may be thinking in your head that's no big deal but for me it was huge.  Looking back I can say with certainty it was the pivotal moment in my relationship with them.

The first month I called them within the first week.  It was stressed and awkward and neither of us had much to say.  I was dreading calling again so I kept putting it off.  The next time I called when I knew they would be gone to church and I would get the answering machine.  I survived January. February was next and with that was my Mom's birthday.  I sent her a card in the mail and made a phone call a couple weeks later.  Awkward again.  Two months down ten to go. 

The spring months I don't remember specifically but I know I sent a Mother's Day card, a birthday card to my Dad, an email here and there, and I made a few phone calls.  I remember every month putting the phone calls off until the end of the month and then being relieved when they were over. 

Along came summer though and something began to change.  At this point I have had more contact with them in 5 months than in the previous 3 years combined and I began to find that I had things that we could talk about.  I didn't dread each phone call quite so much and I didn't cringe every time they would answer the phone instead of the machine. 

Summer turned into fall and leaves began to change.  There were times I would get frustrated with my parents and their way of thinking just as I'm sure they got frustrated with me.  But we had reached a new point in our relationship.  I didn't have to pretend that the past didn't exist and I was strong enough to disagree with them without arguing with them. 

I continued my twice a month contact right up through the end of the year.  At the time I remember being greatly relieved when December was over and I knew I didn't have to call them the next month.  But as many of you have probably guessed I called anyway.  The hard part was done and now I could call just to say hi.  In the years that have passed between then and now I have continued to build a relationship with my parents.  I value them and the relationship we have now and chances are my mom is even getting a little teary as she reads this because I know that she values what we have just as much. 

So, this year I'm not sure yet what my resolution will be but I know that I don't have to be afraid of doing something difficult because the reward at the end is worth all of the work that goes into it.

Christmas

I love Christmas time. This year as Christmas is fast approaching I have had a blast preparing for it.  My house is decked out with lights both inside and out, I have baked more Christmas goodies than ever before, I have been out shopping with Zoe, I have spent time with my family and am looking forward to spending time with Jake's family. 

For me one of my favorite parts about Christmas this year is seeing it through my daughters eyes.  Everything is so simple and pure for her.  Take a look with me as I look at Christmas through Zoe's eyes.

The Decorations~A pretty tree has appeared in my living room and it has little bells on the bottom just for me to ring.  I even have a special pink tree with lights in my bedroom I can plug in all by myself.  Every evening when we walk down to the mailbox I get to look at all the other pretty twinkle lights on our street.  My favorite part is the giant snowman at our neighbor's house.  I love to look at it and tell Mom and Dad all about it.  I also like to point out all the big bows and pretty stars that are hanging up all over town.  There are so many shiny things that sparkle and catch my eye.

The Food~My mom always bakes cookies with me but we have been making lots of new yummy stuff.  My favorite part is after I help Mom stir when she lets me lick the spoon.  I really like the chocolate stuff.  Sometimes my hands get messy but I just lick them clean too.  I don't like the way Mommy made the crackers taste funny though so she gives me the plain yellow crackers I like instead.

The Shopping~Mommy and I have been to lots of stores lately.  I like it when I can walk and don't have to sit in the shopping cart.  Mommy and I have a deal that I can walk as long as I don't touch things and I have to hold her hand when she says to. (Like if there are a lot of people or if we are in the parking lots where the cars are driving.) I got to help Mommy pick out presents for Daddy and me.  One time Daddy even came shopping with us and I got to run around the store hiding from him while Mommy shopped.  That was really fun and he even bought me a bouncy ball.  Most of all I like the red cans and the ringing bell outside the store especially when I drop money in the can and the man with the bell lets me ring it too.

The Family~Nana and Papa flew on an airplane to come see me and we had so much fun.  I really liked it when Papa played with me.  We played with my music toys, and with my kitchen toys, but my favorite is playing with my new Kitty that Papa gave me.  I liked it when Papa and Daddy hold my hands to walk so I can swing between them.  I also liked Nana because she sat next to me in the car and played with me.  Nana is really good at talking to me and reading me stories.  Pretty soon Granny and Poppy are going to come to our house too.  It is so fun to have Nana and Papa and Granny and Poppy to play with.

For Zoe Christmas is a magical time.  She doesn't care if Christmas has been commercialized or if Santa is coming to her house.  She doesn't care if the traffic is bad and stores are busy or if someone says Happy Holiday instead of Merry Christmas. I am so blessed to be able to spend this Christmas looking through the eyes of my daughter and to see what a magical time it is.   My heart is full and Christmas day isn't even here yet.

Does God Heal?

Does God Heal?

Absolutely!

 Today it is easy for me to say this because of recent events in the life of my 2yr old. I have to ask myself if I would be just as confident had things not turned out the way they did.  It is hard to believe when you are not seeing evidence so I want to share our story to encourage someone else that is having a difficult time believing today.

About a month ago at Zoe's 2 yr well baby check her pediatrician found a heart murmur.  Zoe has been an active normal child so I had no warning or time to prepare myself for this news.  Zoe's pediatrician did a great job of taking time to examine Zoe and also talking to me about what she was hearing.  Zoe's heart murmur was not the kind that is the most common in children.  It had more to do with the way in which the blood was leaving the heart than just the innocent murmurs that are the norm.  She referred us to a pediatric cardiologist.

After coming home from Zoe's appointment I was shook up.  I don't like hearing that there is anything wrong with my child and especially not something I couldn't prevent or control.  I began to pray.  Jake and I shared our concerns about Zoe's heart with some friends and they began to pray.  I have heard first hand stories from others how God had healed before and I wanted this for my daughter. So I asked for it.  I asked God to heal Zoe's heart. 

After an EKG and a round of x-rays Zoe's cardiologist gave us great news today.  Zoe's heart is healthy and strong.  There is still a very slight murmur but it does not pose any future risk for her. The cardiologist is confident Zoe will outgrow the murmur altogether. 

God has healed my baby girl's heart. She is a special gift to us and I know God has big plans for her life.  I look forward to when she's older and I can share this story with her.  I hope it will encourage her and help her to always have faith that God can and will heal and answer prayers.

If You Want More...

If you want more than you've had before, you have to do more than you've done before.

This is an old saying I've heard many times.  Jake brought it up this evening while we were spending some time together and it got me to thinking.  I like this saying for many reasons.  It encourages me to push beyond myself, to set higher goals, to identify areas where I want to improve, and to change behaviors that have become routine.

I hope my thoughts will encourage you.

If you want more from your marriage~ As a young couple Jake and I acknowledge that having an awesome marriage takes hard work.  Often times husbands and wives slip into a routine with each other and let the little things they used to do for one another fall away.  This doesn't work.  Marriage isn't about you and what you can get out of it.  It's about the other person and putting them first. You can't keep on doing what you've been doing and expect better results.  It's time to up your game.

If you want more from your job~ A big part of this one may be the attitude with which you're doing it.  If you go to work with the attitude that it's what's required of you then don't be surprised when you get the same results day after day.  Your job is the opportunity you have every day to provide for yourself and your family. Acknowledge that is it an opportunity and opportunities can be lost just as easily as they're gained.  You can't do the same thing again and again and expect different results. Something has to change.

If you want more from your friendships~ Maintaining friendships is not always easy. People  have emotions and with that they have needs.  If you are finding that you're wanting more out of the friendships in your life, try putting more into them.  People want to feel needed and appreciated.  If you spend more time valuing your friends and letting them know the ways they enrich your life they will in turn grow to share a deeper more meaningful friendship with you.

If you want more from your parenting~ This is an obvious one but also a tough one.  The parent that has to tell their child 8 times to do something before it gets done is probably ready to admit they want more from their efforts at parenting.  The problem is the parent has not consistently followed through so the child knows that they don't have to obey what the parent is saying right away because their parent is going to tell them several more times before any consequence comes.  If you want to be a more effective parent take time learning from other parents how they do it.  Read up on techniques that you want to use with your children and ask questions when you are not seeing the results you desire.  Put more effort into your kids and you will be rewarded greatly with the love that they show you in return.

If you want more from your relationship with God~ My thoughts are far and wide on this one but my passion for it is true.  If you want more than you've had before, you have to do more than you've done before.  If you can think of a time that you were in a more personal, closer, stronger place with God than you are right now it's time to step up. You cannot continue on where you are even if it's a good place, and expect greater rewards. I can not say it enough, if you want more than you've had before you must do more than you've done before.  I know God has a bigger plan for my life than I have for myself.  I desire all that God has for me so each day I need to find ways to do more than I have done the day before.

As we approach this holiday season let me challenge you.  If you want this Thanksgiving and Christmas to be special and more meaningful than any you have had before, now is the time to push beyond yourself, set higher goals, identify areas where you want to improve, and change behaviors that have become routine.  If you want more than you have had before, you must do more than you have done before!

Toddler Busy Bags

I have been making these for my daughter for quite a while so here's the scoop on some of my favorites.

1. Brightly colored pieces of felt cut in various shapes
 I always cut a pair so that she can match them, but there are lots of things she can do with these. 

2. Plastic beads and pipe cleaners
The pipe cleaner is much easier for my little one to string the beads on than a shoelace so she doesn't get frustrated but still works those fine motor skills.

3. Nuts and bolts
Yep, that's it just some nuts and bolts.  Zoe will turn and twist four or five nuts onto one bolt.  I love the concentration she will put into this.

4. Craft pom poms and big tweezers
The open and close motion she has to do with the tweezers is great.

5. Texture balloons
One is filled with flour, one with sugar, and one with couscous.  Zoe likes to squeeze, stretch, and poke the balloons as she explores the different textures within.

6. Bugs

This has been Zoe's all time favorite.  She will line her bugs up, play hide-n-go-seek with her bugs, tell me the color of her bugs, practice bug sounds, sort her bugs by species, and put her bugs down for a nap.  She loves to play with these guys wherever we are.

7. Buttons
Another favorite, we started with just one color but have since added a second.  These are great for sorting.  She will pick out the biggest ones, smallest ones, and smooth ones.  Some days she stacks them in piles other days she lines them up on the floor.

8. Chain links
Yes, Zoe's are shaped like flowers and hearts but the concept is still there.  Link them together and make a chain.

9. Rose Petals and Ribbon
This is the same concept as stringing beads but with petals and ribbon to mix things up just a bit.

10. Animal Cards
This is just a pack of flash cards I picked up at the dollar store but Z likes having it in one of her bags so she can play with it all by herself.

There you have it.  Hope this helps and you come up with some great busy bags of your own.  Really, anything that your child can sit quietly and do by themselves is a win in my book.  It is great for giving me a few minutes to make lunch, sweep the floor, or get dinner started.  There are many times I sit down and do these with Zoe but having things she can do on her own is what our busy bags are all about.

 

 

If a 3 year old can do it, so can I

Let me tell you the story that made my daughters day and in turn melted my heart. 

After nap today we loaded up in the stroller and walked the four blocks over to the park.   This is a pretty normal occurrence for us and like many other days we were meeting some friends there. The kids rode bicycles, played on the slides, chased each other around, swang on the swings, and picked up little bugs.  They spent a couple hours enjoying the fall air and just being kids.  As we were loading up, Zoe's friend Levi remembered he had something special he wanted to do.

Levi knows that Zoe loves to play with balls.  Earlier in the day he had picked out one of his own bouncy balls just for her.  He told his mom that he wanted to bring it with him to the park so he could give it to Zoe.  So as we were getting bikes and strollers situated, Levi dug out his bouncy ball and presented it to my baby girl.  Zoe was all smiles.  A pink and blue bouncy ball in her world is just about the greatest thing ever. For the rest of the afternoon and evening Zoe played with and chatted about Levi and the bouncy ball he gave her.

Levi is 3 years old.  He didn't have to work at it, he simply put the desires of another before his own.  Of course he loves bouncy balls as much as any other 3 year old does, but he wanted to do something special.  He put his friend first.  He didn't give hoping to get something in return, and he certainly didn't care if anyone was watching or what they thought. 

Today Levi is my hero.  He demonstrated generosity, caring, thoughtfulness, and love.  These are all qualities I want people to look at me and see in my life.  How great would every day be if we would all practice such simple acts of kindness?  If a 3 year old can do it, so can I.

Thankfulness-Even though I Don't Want to

My, how quickly fall has arrived.  Here in southern California it can at times be easy to forget that fall is in deed here.  The days are still sunny and warm and the leaves are still green.  I did however, get the chance to drive up in the mountains this week and we saw first hand that fall is in full swing.  Pumpkins are ready for carving, apple cider is being made, and leaves are vibrant shades of red, yellow, and orange. 

It is with this holiday season approaching that I am currently stuck on this thought of giving thanks.   I'll be honest with you and tell you that I don't really place much value in all the "I'm thankful for..." stuff you see this time of year.  I figure if people really want to develop an attitude of thankfulness it is something they should work on all year round not just when Thanksgiving is around the corner. 

However, I have found myself in recent days very critical of others when they are complaining.  I typically ignore people who are frequent complainers, but I have brushed off people this week and even this evening who have simply hinted at little complaints.  My mind has little red flags that jump up when I am being less compassionate towards others than I should be and it tells me I need to change my behavior.  In my head, the opposite of complaining is being thankful.

So, even though this is definitely not my favorite time of year to work on developing an attitude of thankfulness this is where I am headed.  I don't like it when people are critical of me so I am making a conscious choice to work on developing an attitude of thankfulness. 

Way back in June a friend and I had a good conversation about choosing to be thankful every day.  She suggested each day you have to pick out something different to be thankful for and write it down.   It keeps you motivated to find new ways to be thankful but also lets you read back through everything you have already given thanks for.  I didn't start this back then but I'm going to give it a shot now. 

I can't stop the people in my life from complaining but I can change the way I respond.