An Adventure

Mommy, I want to go on an adventure.

Those were the words that came out of my little one's mouth with only an hour left before bedtime. At this point I had options. 1) I could distract her and we could simply play until it was time to get ready for bed. 2)We could load up into the car and head to the grocery store to buy a box of kleenex since I've been out for the last 3 days and using toilet paper to blow noses. Or, 3)we could go on an adventure.

Many times I take the first route. It's easier. When it's an hour from bedtime I rarely have the energy to tackle an outing even if it's just to get a box of kleenex. When it's an hour from bedtime on a day when Jake is working late yet again after being gone on a cross country over the weekend and I haven't had a break at all, I really don't have the energy. Tonight was different.

Tonight, I stopped for a minute. I looked down at my girl and she looked up at me with all the hope and innocence I love about her. I knew then I wanted to spend the last hour of her day investing in her and showing her she is worth my time. God has blessed me with such a special little person I want to make the most of each moment we have. She said, "Mommy, hold my hand and let's just go."

I reached down and grabbed her little hand and out the door we went.

We were in the garage now and I needed a plan and quickly. So, I picked up a plastic bag and we each put on a pair of gloves. We began walking down our street. As we walked we talked. Okay, maybe we didn't talk exactly. She asked questions and I did my best to answer them. But it was great. We spent the next 45 minutes on our adventure. We filled our bag with all the trash we found along our path and talked about everything from brier weeds to butterflies.

As I was tucking her into bed she said, "Mommy, I liked our adventure and we even made our street a little cleaner for the next person."

Looking for some trash to pick up.

Yucky garbage

Loved our Adventure!

Life During Deployment-Today I Cried...Again

     We are well past month 5 of this journey that seems to linger on and on and....you get the point. There are days that Zoe and I fall into our schedule and life seems perfectly normal and there are days when part of our world is simply missing.
     Yesterday Zoe and I slept in and had a lazy morning. It was fantastic. We feasted on doughnuts and chocolate milk for breakfast while we watched her favorite Minnie Mouse cartoon. After a while we decided to head into town to do a little shopping before making our way to her friend's birthday party that afternoon. My girl even chose In and Out for lunch which was a real treat. She chatted nonstop the whole hour that it took to drive up to the party. I loved it.
     We arrived at the party and Zoe wasted no time in joining the other kids on the playground. She spent most of the time sliding down the big grass hill rather than the actual playground equipment. I just smiled and watched. Every kid should have the freedom to get some good grass stains once in a while. We all came inside and ate pizza and cupcakes. In true party fashion the little ones got to take a turn at the pinata and then the mad scramble was on for candy. Everyone was having a great time. The birthday boy opened presents and the children played some more while the parents took turns sharing stories and laughing at each others kids.
     It was about this time that Zoe came over and crawled up on my lap. I told her to go back and play with her friends and let her know it was going to be time to go soon. She looked up at me with the biggest, saddest eyes and said she just wanted to go home now. Definitely not the response I was expecting so I took her aside to see what had happened. Once we were out of sight of the other children her tears started streaming down her little face. "I miss my Daddy." Followed by more tears and her sad little words. "Everyone else has a Daddy here but my Daddy is gone."  My precious Princess, it's so hard when a simple kiss can't fix your little heart and make things right in your world again. I held her close and we talked about Daddy and how much he loves her and everything she can't wait to do with him when he does come home. After a few minutes, she pulled it together and said happy goodbyes to her friends and we loaded into the car. I made it about as far as the end of the street before the tears started steaming down my own face. I miss him too sweetheart.
     It was a fairly quiet car ride home but you can bet that when Zoe asked me to rock her for a little while before going to sleep I didn't hesitate to say yes. It didn't matter that it was already past her bedtime or that I was beyond exhausted myself. We snuggled into the rocking chair and cuddled until we were both almost asleep. I whispered "I love you" as I tucked her into bed. She opened her eyes a little and said, "I know Mommy.  Daddy loves us too." Then she snuggled into her blanket and drifted off to sleep. So peaceful and so precious.

The Heart of a 3yr Old

Having a 3yr old is a blast. I love the way my little one will tell me what she is thinking or how she feels about something. Of course, there is no filter on her so sometimes you get more than you asked for but I still love it. 

This morning I was talking with Z about today being Thanksgiving. We talked about what it means to be thankful for something and then talked about different things she was thankful for. From there we talked about what we were going to do, what food we were going to cook, whose house we were going to, and who the other people were that would be there. Our talk went much as I expected it would with the usual answers and comments from her. 

I headed off to the kitchen to begin the preparations for my part of the meal. I smiled as I heard her walk down to her kitchen and begin to play in there. I like hearing her playful sounds and it makes me happy to see her use her imagination. After a few minutes, I peeked around the corner to check on her. This is what I found.

It only took a minute for me to see what see had done. She set out a table cloth and then made a picnic for her family. There was a plate for Mommy with salad and a cupcake, a plate for herself with cheese and a cookie, and a plate for Daddy with the largest sandwich possible. I told her I liked the picnic she made and asked her what she was doing. Her reply was that she was feeding Daddy because she is just so thankful for him. She told me she knows that he is on his big long trip but she is still just so thankful for him and loves him.

I love my precious girl and her great big heart!

Life During Deployment-Today I Cried

So, today I cried.  

Zoe has made no secret of the fact that she misses her Daddy.  She tells our neighbors every time we walk to the mailbox. She tells the cashier at the store no matter which store it is. On Tuesday, she told her gymnastics coach, only to remind her again on Wednesday when we saw her that she, "Really misses her Daddy." I've completely lost count of how many times my precious daughter has looked up at me with those great big eyes and said, "I just miss my Daddy."

I love that Z can express herself as well as she does and I'm glad that she tells me when she is missing him. It gives us the chance to color pictures to send him, to pray for him, and to look through the flip book of pictures of her and her daddy together. It encourages me to keep him a present part of our home and to talk about what he might be doing that day. It also gives me the chance to snuggle my girl just a little bit more and to pass on the "I love you"'s that she desperately needs to hear. 

Today though, was different. Today Zoe got a video message from her Daddy. It was really to both of us, but for my Zoe girl, all she cared was that it was Daddy. Not once today did I hear the words, "I just miss my Daddy." Instead I heard, "Zoe wants to watch Daddy one more time." Followed quickly by "Just one more time, Mommy. Please, one more time." 

As I watched her run back to the computer time after time today my heart just filled up. I could see the beauty in her innocent love for her Daddy. I could see the hope in her eyes that her Daddy's face would show up once again. I could see the passion she felt over this simple connection to her Daddy. It captured my heart over and over.

So tonight as I go to bed, my prayer once again is simply this:
Protect us Lord as we're apart. Be our strength and our shield.
Teach us to grow as we press on. Strengthen our love, increase our heart.

Z showing "Pretend Daddy" the video

Waving "Hi" to Daddy

Sitting on the table to watch her video

Watching her Daddy video yet again...

Hugging "Pretend Daddy" while she watches.

Watching Daddy one last time before bed.

The "Terrible Twos"

The second year of life is known by many as the "Terrible Twos."  I will admit that going into this year with Z I was a little apprehensive as to just what lay ahead.  Now that we are at the end I am excited about everything I learned and so proud of my little girl.  We had some ups and downs for sure but I'd like to share a few of my thoughts on parenting with a 2yr old.

Communicating Makes all the Difference.  I can't tell you how many times over the last year I have told my daughter to "Use your words."  The tricky part was that I also had to learn to use my words.  I stopped simply saying "Use your words," and started asking,  "Do you feel mad, or tired."  I would ask, "Is this puzzle too hard for you?" or "What can Mommy do to help?"   Sometimes you need to put the words out there for them.  Teach them to say what they are feeling or why they are feeling it.  The more they practice the easier it will be for them do it on their own. 

I remember one morning this spring when Z was being really antsy.  I was feeling less than patient because we needed to get going and she was bouncing off the walls.  I sat her in my lap and asked her what her deal was.  She looked back at me and said "Zoe excited!"  I laughed out loud.  I wasn't expecting an answer and didn't even know she knew what excited meant.  It was so cute.

Conquer the Tantrums. Temper Tantrums are one of the biggest challenges with a 2 yr old. They are not completely avoidable but there are things you can do to minimize the risk of one breaking out.  Be aware that their threshold is lower when hungry or tired.  Take a step back and try to understand your child's perspective.  As a 2 yr old they are learning that the world doesn't revolve around them and that other people have needs and feelings too.  It's a lot to comprehend for your little one. Temper tantrums are their way of voicing the frustration they are feeling.  So, have a game plan and know how you want to handle the tantrums when they do pop up. Here's a link for a few of my thoughts on Toddler Temper Tantrums.

Encourage Independence. Your 2 yr old is changing from being a baby to a little person with ideas and opinions of their own.  Let them.  Give them specific responsibilities.  A 2 yr old can do lots of things around the house and allowing them to help out builds their confidence. Zoe has been responsible for picking up her toys and putting her clothes in the dirty clothes basket for quite some time now.  This year she has also learned to help set the table and take her own plate to the sink when finished eating.
I have also learned to let her make age appropriate decisions.  The key to this is giving specific choices not asking open ended questions.  "Do you want to color or play with play dough?" or "Do you want apple slices or grapes." Not "What do you want to do?" or "What do you want for snack?" Giving your toddler the power to make specific choices each day allows them to feel like they have some control while still maintaining your routine and accomplishing the things that need doing.    

Other Keys to Remember.

*Teach your little one how deal with their emotions. They are becoming very aware of themselves so acknowledge what they are feeling and help them to process it.

*Handle negative behavior as it happens. 

*Patience is of utmost importance.  If you want them to respond calmly you have to keep your cool too.
*Be aware of how much sleep your little one is getting. Most 2 yr olds need an average of 13 hours (10 to 12hrs for nighttime and 1-3hrs for nap).
*Challenge their creativity.  At this point a lot of their learning happens through play so let them finger paint, play with shaving cream, and build forts under the table.  Building their creativity now will open doors and help them learn to problem solve as they get older.

I have had a blast with my little 2 yr old this last year. It wasn't all sugar and roses. We had one day that it took 45 minutes and tears from both of us to get Zoe in the car seat and buckled. It was rough. But we also had days that we laughed so hard we couldn't catch our breath.  I love to watch Zoe as she learns new things and I am so blessed to be able to invest in her life.  She is worth the all tears, the laughter, and the smiles.  As the 2's are slipping behind us I am so excited to see the 3's.

Saying Good-Bye

Good-Bye

We say these little words all the time and for the most part it's no big deal.  As moms, one of the first skills we teach our children is to wave "bye-bye."  It's fun and so cute to see our little ones wiggling their little fingers and waving their chubby little hands.

I'm glad that as a child I never had to know just how hard saying good-bye can be.  It breaks my heart that my daughter is not so lucky.  You see, she is a part of a military family.  Last week we had to say good-bye to our best friends.  

Here is our story.

Jake and I were newly married and navigating the joys of flight school.  I say joys now but at the time it was more of a headache.  The never knowing your schedule for the next day until the night before, the endless hours of studying, and the stinky laundry that just kept piling up.  That was our life.  In the midst of this Jake came home from work and told me we'd been invited to a BBQ. Yeah! I was excited to have something normal to do that didn't involve helping Jake study EP's.  I made a pan of brownies (the gooey, delicious kind with Hershey syrup and frosting on top), and away we went.

I laughed more that night as I watched a 2yr old Jack smear brownie from his head to his toes than I had in a week.  The crazy part was that his mom, Em, was so chill about it. That was the beginning of a great friendship, yet I knew then I would never be that cool.  

Back in those days, we lived within walking distance from each other so we started spending more time together.  It was great.  I played cars with Jack and got to hold Levi who was such a cute little guy.  Em's house was of course cleaner and better decorated than mine and I knew once again I would never be that cool.

Fast forward a little bit and we're all stationed out here in sunny California.  Along come Zoe and Arlo (so glad you didn't name him Benny).  In the beginning Z would spend more time staring at the boys than actually playing with them but with-in a couple months of us moving to the same town she began to refer to the boys as hers.  When we would go to the playground she would ask if "her boys" were coming, or when we'd go swimming Z had to make sure "her boys" were going to be there.  

Zoe started following the boys around and trying her hardest to keep up with them.  I loved watching the changes that were taking place in my little girl.  Z went from being afraid of almost everything to being the first one to climb down in the riverbed and the last one to want to leave.  At the same time I was learning from Em that it's okay when clothes get dirty and shoes come off so toes can squish in the mud.  I was amazed that Em could leave the park with 3 boys in tow and not a spec of mud on her and I just had little Zoe and both of us a muddy mess.  Once again, I just wasn't that cool.

But, as with normal life in the military it's time for a move. So we had our friends over for one more BBQ before they headed back east.  As Zoe gave each one of "her boys" a giant hug and kiss good-bye my heart began to break a little.  Em has encouraged me and helped me to be a better mom. I long for her secret to staying cool and not losing my temper, I envy her clean house with everything always in its place, and I will never be as put together as she is.  I will however be a better mom each day and treasure our friendship always.

No matter who it is you may be saying good-bye to, know in your heart that it doesn't have to be forever.  Let their memories live in you and choose to make a difference for someone else in the same way they made a difference for you.

In our case Good-bye is not forever.  It is simply, see you later!

Military Life

We woke too early, the sun had not yet risen.

The alarm told us harshly what we already knew.

It was time to go.

It was time to say Good-bye.

I hug my Marine tightly.

He hugs our little girl just one more time. 

She says, "Daddy go trip."

Then asks, "Daddy be home soon?"

We survive the first day but already miss his presence.

As soon as Daddy leaves something has to break.

The garage door quits working and the weed eater quickly follows suit.

The jogging stroller tire goes flat and garbage disposal is making a funny sound.

A few more days pass and we settle into a routine.

My Zoe girl is back to singing.

Her nonstop chatter is my favorite sound.

We play patty cake, and color in books. We smile and eat ice cream.

The routine grows normal but the house is empty.

Zoe says she misses Daddy and hugs her teddy tight.

She crawls into my lap to snuggle.

I wrap her in my arms and kiss her little head.

We venture out on each new day, we have to live our life.

Zoe sees another Marine and looks at me with great big eyes.

Hang in there little one, he's not your Daddy.

The Marine smiles and gives her high five.

We make a calender and cross off days.

Zoe counts them as they pass.

She gets her phone and plays pretend.

She tells Daddy everything he is missing.

I miss him too my Zoe Bug.

I wish he were home safe each night.

Daddy misses us just as much.

He wants to see you grow.

Others will see us and ask how we're doing.

The answer is always, "We're fine."

Military families are built from the heart.

Ours is no exception.

Some days I'm stronger than others.

There are lots of days we play and we laugh.

There are some days it hurts so much I cry.

I know it's alright.

For many, military is just a word.

For me it is my life.

I am proud of my Marine, he choose to serve our country.

Our path may not be easy but it is what we know.

The day will come when he comes home.

My arms will fly wide open.

He'll pick up our little girl and spin her around.

Tears will slip down my cheek.

Until that day comes, my prayer is simply this.

Protect us Lord, as we're apart. Be our strength and our shield.

Teach us to grow as we press on. 

Strengthen our love, increase our heart.