If You Want More...

If you want more than you've had before, you have to do more than you've done before.

This is an old saying I've heard many times.  Jake brought it up this evening while we were spending some time together and it got me to thinking.  I like this saying for many reasons.  It encourages me to push beyond myself, to set higher goals, to identify areas where I want to improve, and to change behaviors that have become routine.

I hope my thoughts will encourage you.

If you want more from your marriage~ As a young couple Jake and I acknowledge that having an awesome marriage takes hard work.  Often times husbands and wives slip into a routine with each other and let the little things they used to do for one another fall away.  This doesn't work.  Marriage isn't about you and what you can get out of it.  It's about the other person and putting them first. You can't keep on doing what you've been doing and expect better results.  It's time to up your game.

If you want more from your job~ A big part of this one may be the attitude with which you're doing it.  If you go to work with the attitude that it's what's required of you then don't be surprised when you get the same results day after day.  Your job is the opportunity you have every day to provide for yourself and your family. Acknowledge that is it an opportunity and opportunities can be lost just as easily as they're gained.  You can't do the same thing again and again and expect different results. Something has to change.

If you want more from your friendships~ Maintaining friendships is not always easy. People  have emotions and with that they have needs.  If you are finding that you're wanting more out of the friendships in your life, try putting more into them.  People want to feel needed and appreciated.  If you spend more time valuing your friends and letting them know the ways they enrich your life they will in turn grow to share a deeper more meaningful friendship with you.

If you want more from your parenting~ This is an obvious one but also a tough one.  The parent that has to tell their child 8 times to do something before it gets done is probably ready to admit they want more from their efforts at parenting.  The problem is the parent has not consistently followed through so the child knows that they don't have to obey what the parent is saying right away because their parent is going to tell them several more times before any consequence comes.  If you want to be a more effective parent take time learning from other parents how they do it.  Read up on techniques that you want to use with your children and ask questions when you are not seeing the results you desire.  Put more effort into your kids and you will be rewarded greatly with the love that they show you in return.

If you want more from your relationship with God~ My thoughts are far and wide on this one but my passion for it is true.  If you want more than you've had before, you have to do more than you've done before.  If you can think of a time that you were in a more personal, closer, stronger place with God than you are right now it's time to step up. You cannot continue on where you are even if it's a good place, and expect greater rewards. I can not say it enough, if you want more than you've had before you must do more than you've done before.  I know God has a bigger plan for my life than I have for myself.  I desire all that God has for me so each day I need to find ways to do more than I have done the day before.

As we approach this holiday season let me challenge you.  If you want this Thanksgiving and Christmas to be special and more meaningful than any you have had before, now is the time to push beyond yourself, set higher goals, identify areas where you want to improve, and change behaviors that have become routine.  If you want more than you have had before, you must do more than you have done before!

Toddler Busy Bags

I have been making these for my daughter for quite a while so here's the scoop on some of my favorites.

1. Brightly colored pieces of felt cut in various shapes
 I always cut a pair so that she can match them, but there are lots of things she can do with these. 

2. Plastic beads and pipe cleaners
The pipe cleaner is much easier for my little one to string the beads on than a shoelace so she doesn't get frustrated but still works those fine motor skills.

3. Nuts and bolts
Yep, that's it just some nuts and bolts.  Zoe will turn and twist four or five nuts onto one bolt.  I love the concentration she will put into this.

4. Craft pom poms and big tweezers
The open and close motion she has to do with the tweezers is great.

5. Texture balloons
One is filled with flour, one with sugar, and one with couscous.  Zoe likes to squeeze, stretch, and poke the balloons as she explores the different textures within.

6. Bugs

This has been Zoe's all time favorite.  She will line her bugs up, play hide-n-go-seek with her bugs, tell me the color of her bugs, practice bug sounds, sort her bugs by species, and put her bugs down for a nap.  She loves to play with these guys wherever we are.

7. Buttons
Another favorite, we started with just one color but have since added a second.  These are great for sorting.  She will pick out the biggest ones, smallest ones, and smooth ones.  Some days she stacks them in piles other days she lines them up on the floor.

8. Chain links
Yes, Zoe's are shaped like flowers and hearts but the concept is still there.  Link them together and make a chain.

9. Rose Petals and Ribbon
This is the same concept as stringing beads but with petals and ribbon to mix things up just a bit.

10. Animal Cards
This is just a pack of flash cards I picked up at the dollar store but Z likes having it in one of her bags so she can play with it all by herself.

There you have it.  Hope this helps and you come up with some great busy bags of your own.  Really, anything that your child can sit quietly and do by themselves is a win in my book.  It is great for giving me a few minutes to make lunch, sweep the floor, or get dinner started.  There are many times I sit down and do these with Zoe but having things she can do on her own is what our busy bags are all about.

 

 

If a 3 year old can do it, so can I

Let me tell you the story that made my daughters day and in turn melted my heart. 

After nap today we loaded up in the stroller and walked the four blocks over to the park.   This is a pretty normal occurrence for us and like many other days we were meeting some friends there. The kids rode bicycles, played on the slides, chased each other around, swang on the swings, and picked up little bugs.  They spent a couple hours enjoying the fall air and just being kids.  As we were loading up, Zoe's friend Levi remembered he had something special he wanted to do.

Levi knows that Zoe loves to play with balls.  Earlier in the day he had picked out one of his own bouncy balls just for her.  He told his mom that he wanted to bring it with him to the park so he could give it to Zoe.  So as we were getting bikes and strollers situated, Levi dug out his bouncy ball and presented it to my baby girl.  Zoe was all smiles.  A pink and blue bouncy ball in her world is just about the greatest thing ever. For the rest of the afternoon and evening Zoe played with and chatted about Levi and the bouncy ball he gave her.

Levi is 3 years old.  He didn't have to work at it, he simply put the desires of another before his own.  Of course he loves bouncy balls as much as any other 3 year old does, but he wanted to do something special.  He put his friend first.  He didn't give hoping to get something in return, and he certainly didn't care if anyone was watching or what they thought. 

Today Levi is my hero.  He demonstrated generosity, caring, thoughtfulness, and love.  These are all qualities I want people to look at me and see in my life.  How great would every day be if we would all practice such simple acts of kindness?  If a 3 year old can do it, so can I.

Thankfulness-Even though I Don't Want to

My, how quickly fall has arrived.  Here in southern California it can at times be easy to forget that fall is in deed here.  The days are still sunny and warm and the leaves are still green.  I did however, get the chance to drive up in the mountains this week and we saw first hand that fall is in full swing.  Pumpkins are ready for carving, apple cider is being made, and leaves are vibrant shades of red, yellow, and orange. 

It is with this holiday season approaching that I am currently stuck on this thought of giving thanks.   I'll be honest with you and tell you that I don't really place much value in all the "I'm thankful for..." stuff you see this time of year.  I figure if people really want to develop an attitude of thankfulness it is something they should work on all year round not just when Thanksgiving is around the corner. 

However, I have found myself in recent days very critical of others when they are complaining.  I typically ignore people who are frequent complainers, but I have brushed off people this week and even this evening who have simply hinted at little complaints.  My mind has little red flags that jump up when I am being less compassionate towards others than I should be and it tells me I need to change my behavior.  In my head, the opposite of complaining is being thankful.

So, even though this is definitely not my favorite time of year to work on developing an attitude of thankfulness this is where I am headed.  I don't like it when people are critical of me so I am making a conscious choice to work on developing an attitude of thankfulness. 

Way back in June a friend and I had a good conversation about choosing to be thankful every day.  She suggested each day you have to pick out something different to be thankful for and write it down.   It keeps you motivated to find new ways to be thankful but also lets you read back through everything you have already given thanks for.  I didn't start this back then but I'm going to give it a shot now. 

I can't stop the people in my life from complaining but I can change the way I respond.

Leftovers

I ran out of clean tupperware containers today because they were all in the fridge filled with leftovers in varying stages of decomposition.  It was well past time to clean out the fridge and toss the old food.  Some dishes were almost empty, some were not touched since the day they were put in the fridge, and  some were well...growing.  This task did however get me to thinking about leftovers.

I heard a Pastor speak once about how God doesn't want our leftovers.  As I cleaned out the fridge and loaded the dishwasher I kept thinking about this concept of giving God the leftovers.  I can't remember the entire thought the Pastor was getting at, but it went something along the line of giving to God the first of our time, energy, money, and so on.  I'm sure it is a valid principle but it wasn't the direction that my thoughts were headed. 

God was clearly saying to me He does want my leftovers. 

#1. My leftover time.  This is huge.  How often do we finish a task only to sit on the couch and veg out for the next 15 minutes until the next task comes along.  Give God that leftover time. Text a friend that needs encouragement, pray for your husband, listen to some praise and worship music on you tube, write a note to your Pastor, read a devotional on-line, or sit still and ask God to speak.

#2. My leftover money.  Little bits can make a big difference.  The change in the bottom of my purse can go in the jar for missions, a 5 dollar bill can buy lunch for a homeless guy, a small donation can help send a teen to a youth retreat, shampoo, conditioner, and body wash can be dropped off at a local women's shelter, and a generous tip can make the difference in your server's day.

#3.  My leftover energy.  What? Leftover energy?  Well, lets be honest.  Some days are slower than others and at the end of the day you know a little physical exertion would help you sleep.  Wash the windows of the church, pick up trash in the parking lot, mow the yard for the single mom down the street, offer to babysit for the young family you see every week at church, volunteer to chaperon the next youth group activity, or man the grill at the next church BBQ.

#4. When leftovers is all I have.  God still cares.  He knows you're tired, broke, and exhausted.  Some days all we can do is take care of ourselves we don't have anything left to give to others.  Kids get sick, cars break down, company comes to visit, water heaters die, emotions overwhelm, accidents happen, and emergencies pop up.  Life happens but it's in these moments you can crawl in bed, bury your head under the covers, and cry or you can dig through the fridge and pull out those leftovers.  Draw strength, boldness, courage, and wisdom from the things you have in your life and step forward.

How will you use your leftovers today?  I'm going to give mine to God.

What Really Matters

This afternoon I have reached a point of contemplating what really matters.  I have been pushed down this line of thinking by two seemingly unrelated situations yet maybe my answer to the first dilemma is actually my answer to the second. 

Okay so here's the deal. 

Situation #1  The hill/mountain directly behind my house was on fire this morning.  As it turns out only about 15 acres were burned and the fire was contained before it became a dangerous threat.  Never the less, it did raise the question for Jake and I of what we value in our home and whether we needed to get anything out of the house before getting ourselves to safety.

Situation #2  For our life group that we are in at church we have homework this week.  We are supposed to write down what our core values are for our family. 

Now you see why I sit here contemplating what really matters.  On one side I am looking at my physical possessions and asking myself what of it has the most value to me.  On the flip side, our core values are not caught up in what we own.  They are the reality of how we live our lives each day.  So what does really matter?

I loved that when I asked Jake what I needed to get out of the house his answer was myself and Zoe.  He made no secret of the fact that the things in the house are just things to him.  He looked at me and said that Zoe and I are all that matter.  Things can be replaced, we cannot.  Having this mindset is a good reminder that for our family one of our core values will forever be this.  It is the people in our lives that matter, not the things. 

It's always a challenge when you have to look at your own life and evaluate what it is that you place the most value in.  Today is a very good reminder for me to hold my physical possessions very loosely but to pour my heart into the people in my life. 

Mommy

Mommy.  That one little word has so much emotion attached to it.  It meant the world to me when that dollar store pregnancy test read positive.   It made me cry when I first heard Zoe cry. Mommy is the way I refer to myself a hundred times a day while I interact with my daughter. I am passionate about being a mom and being the best mom I can be for my Zoe bug.

In the last few days Zoe has switched from calling me "Mama" to calling me "Mommy."  It is a small change I know but it is just one more example of how fast our kids grow up.  I have often been asked if I feel like the time is going too fast.  And each time I give my answer I get different responses.  Well, that's fine.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.  But I will share my answer to that question with you this evening.

Do I feel like the time is going too fast? No. No, I don't.  I know, I know I just commented about how Zoe changing from calling me mama to mommy is yet another sign of how fast time goes by.  Well, that's just it.  The time does go by fast.  That is why I have chosen to be present in her life.  That is why I read to her everyday.  That is why I play tea party and build towers with her, I tell her stories I make up as they go along, and I talk with her while we wander the isles in the grocery store. That is why we sing songs in the car and we do the hand motions for every nursery rhyme I know.  That is why I push her on the swings, I climb up the slide at the playground with her, and I play hide-n-go seek all over the house.  I know the time is going fast and I want to make the most of all the time I have.  I don't want to look back in six months or six years and ask myself where I was while Zoe was growing up.  I want to look back and see that I was right there with her. 

I don't feel like the time is going too fast because I am living out each day with my daughter.  Not all days are fun and games.  We still have sick days and bad weather days and stay in our pj's days and don't leave the house days but those days are important too because they are a part of who we are. 

We all have the same amount of time each day and each of our days go just as fast so please chose to be present in your children's lives.  When our little ones are grown we won't remember what happened in which season of our favorite TV show, how many text messages we got covering the latest neighborhood gossip, what the latest buzz was blowing up facebook, or which DIY craft project was all over pinterest.  We will remember the time we spend with our children.

Zoe is worth my time.  I am blessed to be her Mommy.